The Holly Johnson Day

Yes, this was one frighteningly exciting day.

I used to have a boyfriend that worked on the Richard and Judy Show. He told me that the Mavericks were going to appear on the show the following week. As I had recently become a bit of a fan of the Mavericks, I arranged to go to London so I could perhaps meet them in the Green Room after they’d been on air.

When the day came, I packed my Mavericks CD’s (so I could get them autographed), and off I went.

So there I am, in the Green Room of the Richard and Judy Show, awaiting the arrival of the Mavericks with baited breath.

I sit watching the Producers, Floor Managers and Camera Crew as they are buzzing around and chatting about the morning show:

“Holly Johnson’s gonna be arriving in about 30 minutes” says one of the crew.

My eyes widen – had I just heard that right? Holly Fucking Johnson, of Frankie Goes to Hollywood fame? No way, this couldn’t be happening…

‘Errrrr you mean Holly Johnson is on the show today’? I ask with panic in my voice.

‘Yeap‘ trills the girl.

‘Oh my god’ I reply.

The crew look at me, smile sweetly, then carry on with their chat about the schedule…

My face starts burning, and my heart starts beating like drum. The massive 80’s icon Holly Johnson is appearing on the show today? ‘Christ I think I need an ambulance’ I thought. This is nearly as scary as being told Madonna is about to walk through the door.

So next thing I know, the Mavericks arrive – it’s all very pleasant, they sign my albums, then one of them actually sings an old Beatles song to me.

Now, I wait with anticipation, the great man Holly Johnson is going to arrive any time now. Perhaps I might catch a glimpse.

What will I do if he comes in the room??? I suddenly become terrified – and for safety, I move into the corner and sit with a magazine. ‘This is a good place to hide, and I can pretend I have no interest in him!’

Then it happens – Holly Johnson walks in. I immediately place the magazine firmly in front of my face… The crew have a few words with him, then LEAVE HIM. Leave him. Yes they leave him - went off do their floor managing etc and LEAVE HIM, alone with me…

This was heart attack material…

He looks across at me and says ‘Hi’

‘Oh hi’ I say, peering over the top of the magazine, like I’d only just realised he was there.

‘I’m thinking of going up to the canteen in a bit’ he says.

‘Oh right’ I say

‘Yes – what’s the food like?’ he replies.

‘I don’t know actually, I’ve never been to the canteen, I’m just visiting for the day’ I say.

‘Oh I see - has anyone ever told you that you look like Caroline Aherne?’

‘Errr, no I can’t say they have’ I reply and start to smile…

‘Yes you really do – it’s amazing!’ he says grinning.

I laugh, not really believing I’m having small talk with an 80’s icon.

At this point I realised that Holly Johnson is human, and he is talking to me like I’m one of his neighbours or something!

He starts to wander towards the door

‘Anyway I think I’ll go and try out the canteen – see you later!’

He smiles and walks out.

At this point I’m completely elated and flabbergasted that I have just chatted to the wonderful Holly Johnson, and wonder why I never actually owned one of those ‘Relax’ T-shirts back in the 80’s…

Holly me old pal, – if you ever read this, I’d love it if you popped over for afternoon tea one Sunday…

Buy the Book by British Bloggers!

The proceeds of the sale of this book go towards helping people who need it most - Click here to buy it now - what are you waiting for?!

Ironers and Non-Ironers

I find it extremely strange when in passing, people say:

‘I’ve got a massive pile of ironing at home’

I wonder to myself why is it a ‘massive pile of ironing?’ why isn’t it ‘a massive pile of clothes that need putting away?’.

The way I see it is, firstly, if you are piling the clothes up, you are putting the job off. Secondly, as the pile gets bigger, you are creating a longer and more tedious job for yourself. Why would you do this?

I don’t iron. In my opinion, I have better things to do with my time. (like writing about not ironing).

Here are a few tips to help all the Ironers out there:

Put your washed clothes in the Tumble drier, then when they are dry, take them out (while still warm) and flatten them with your hands on a flat surface. It takes about 5 seconds per item. Then if you have time, hang them up/put them away. Done. Simple.

Thinking about it, the only things that might ever need ironing are standard cotton shirts, which is why you shouldn’t buy them. So, if you must have a shirt, either buy one that is non-iron, or alternatively buy one that is crinkly in style, so it goes in the wash crinkly and comes out crinkly. Very easy as you don’t even need to use the surface flattening technique.

People who iron (Ironers), have probably never thought of the above things.

I used to live in a bed sit shared with 2 other people. We didn’t really speak to one another. One was a mad type, and the other was a petty type. Obviously nothing wrong with mad people, but the petty should really leave me alone…

One morning I found a note pushed through my door saying that there was an unwashed pan which had been lying around in the kitchen for over 3 days, and that as this was a shared kitchen, please would I consider the other residents and wash it up! It was of no surprise to find the note was signed off by Mr Petty.

Hmmm, I looked in the kitchen, it wasn’t even my pan! It must have been the pan of Miss Mad.

As Mr Petty was such an annoying wanker, I thought it would be best for me to calmly point out the tosser’s mistake.

Later that day I knocked on his door – he opened it, I was horrified to see him in his full splendour, standing behind an ironing board, – ironing, of all things - a sheet! to make matters worse the sheet was brown. (turd brown). It’s hard to say more…

Obviously I have nothing against Ironers. Some of my best friends are Ironers, but it has to be said that I’m sure Ironers and Non-Ironers will never completely understand one another…

Beach Path Alcudia Mallorca

This is the path next to the Hotel Condesa de la Bahia

Time Tested Beauty Tips

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.

For poise, walk with the knowledge you'll never walk alone.

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; Never throw out anybody.

Remember, If you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!

--Sam Levenson

Contrary to many internet postings and email-go-rounds, Audrey Hepburn didn't write this lovely poem.

Sam Levenson wrote "Time Tested Beauty Tips" for his grandchild, and it just so happened to become one of Audrey's favorite poems. The poem was then mis-attributed to her, after it was known that she liked it and had read it to her children.